drunkard me...
drowning myself with beer. been crying too much today. i dunno why.no one was home. da-sao brought ying out since 9am and got home at 5pm. i didnt even know wher they gone. she didnt inform me.
the whole house was so quiet. even the radio that goes "ambitha" stopped, bcoz we had cleared mum's 49th day last sat. she had officially shifted to "sit" with the rest of tan's ancestors. and, there's another empty corner. tears jus running down my cheeks.
tot i've overcome. at least knowing that i'm starting that training class next mth, but i still miss her. miss her touch. miss massaging her.
remembering when she 1st got hospitalised last nov, jus b4 her 60th bday, our neighbors came to visit her. she witnessed uncle held out his hand to hold his wife's hand, and she retold me that they are so loving.
knowing that she wouldnt put out her hand to hold any of us volunteery, so i suan her loh. but later, i'm happy that i hold her hand. even to toilet, the very last moment. her last collapse.
mummy, who is holding your hand now? ur brother? are u happy?
posted by jellyfishy @ 11:59 pm
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