jeLLy w0RLd

sleepless me...

today's my 100th entry on the 5th day of cny.

mum is in the hospital since the 2nd day of cny. father wanted her to be admitted on ta day, right after all my aunties came over for visiting and "lo hei". as mum supposed to be admitted on the 26jan, which the day she had her consultation, i rejected as i would like her to stay home for the reunion dinner.
but, her coughing hasnt been good. she pants more especially throughout the nite. it's when she awakes from her sleep, even though had her sleeping pill, woke me up to fetch her cuppa warm water or to pat her back. i tried to keep my eyes open. but, only for a short while. would shut my eyes without knowing while was patting her back.

anyway. back to chu-er. i was happy seeing my house filling up with ppl. but, mum's not. she's been grumpy. she's hasnt got over the accussing my 2nd aunt of having my late grans' tablets in my current home. she didnt wanna step outta her room. she didnt want to see any of them. she didnt wanna listen to their voices too. she keeps blaming ta she's terribly sick and couldnt walk. even though i asked her to sit in a corner.
i am so hurt. i wanted to cry. having the tot that it's cny, i wouldnt wanna make anything sad or more grumpy, i swallowed everything. i could even feel that "qi" pushing down from the throat to the stomach.
but, i kept walking in and out the room. looking over at her expression. aunties dragged me to kitchen, asking me how's mum this and that.

WELL, i became the spokewoman since things turned sour already. 4th aunt starts to call me on my mobile every other week, asking abt mum's condition. and would ask if i'm convenient to talk bcoz she's afraid mum would ask. she nv calls me on mobile before...

on the 3rd day of cny, 3 members of mum's family came over to visit us. it's her da-sao, and 2nieces. as what father had guessed that mum's family, esp her da-sao, is sure to pay us a visit "automatically" as we didnt visit them.
they were puzzled on why didnt they see mum at home. tot she went marketing. till, father and i revealed the BAD news to them. then, they hopped on our car and ttsh we went.
on the 20min trip there, their phones were ringing non-stop. they were broadcasting mum's condition to everyone.
sure enough, 4more members rushed to visit mum. esp mum's younger bro and his wife. whose relationship turned sour bcoz of $$ 5yrs back. this resulted me hating them too as mum been telling too much abt them to me. they kinda cheated mum's $20K and their da-sao's $ too. seeing their embarrassed apologetic faces, making me to giggle as well as to cry for mum.

till now, it has been four nites.
this afternn, er-ge received a call from Dr. Tay. saying that mum's condition has worsen. though there's none fluid left to draw, but patches were seen in her lungs x-ray. so, these patches would probably be the worsen cancerous cells after clearing the fluid. to me, these patches could be the formation of the fluid that covered the whole of her left lung. and due to we didnt agree in sending her to hospital asap.
now, we need to rent an oxygen concentrator equipment at home. helping mum to breathe cleaner air. prevent her to pant. it would also help to reduce her coughing. as long as we got hold of this equipment at home, mum may go home in another 2-3days. but still, to depend on her condition if it has stabilized.

another sum of $$ slipping away for the rental of oxygen concentrator...

posted by jellyfishy @ 11:59 pm