jeLLy w0RLd

matured me...

matured me? i wondered. a colleague at parkway said that to me. when i mentioned on what i've been doing at home - taking care of my mum and babysitting ying. Hmm... after hearing that word - mature - i'm kinda feeling proud though. feeling happy? i wont deny too.

still, that "word" lingered in me till now. especially that article on sunday times, "SHE'S 15. HE'S 30. SHOULD THEY BE DATING?"

yeap. i dated a man 16yr senior of me. had a fight couple of mth ago. he's apologetic. sending sms saying umpteen sorries. i didnt reply.

my reflection after reading: girl's at this young age to date an older man, is a wrong move. i started dating at 18, which i deemed appropriate. or probably late to some experienced dating girls.

these interviewed girls are right at some pointers abt these older men. they are more caring, understanding. however, they are more possessive. might be aggressive too if relationship turns sour.

some might be already has a stable career and therefore able to bring u out to dine luxuries. that's bcoz u are lucky. who is willing to spend on you. but as time passes by, when u understand how difficult to earn that buck, or when it's time that u agree to start a family with him for the rest of ur life, or if his career failed; would u still be asking for luxurious? would u still be by his side supporting him?

mayb u wouldnt; for me, at least i wont ask for luxurious. or i might flee too. who knows what will happen tomorrow?

it's does feel great to live luxurious. own a sports car. own a tiffany & co. diamond ring. gucci/louis vuitton merchandise. once in a BLUE moon or even in my dreams, i guess.

bcoz as i have already confessed in a past entry. living in singapore is suffocating. i even feel it now! right at this minute. i am not holding a full-time job, jus a part time one. i'm not earning a four digits $. merely bringing half a thousand.

my 25th bday coming up this sat. feeling excited? happy? how am i going to celebrate that day? well, i wont feel anything. yet, feeling fear. that number is getting bigger. i am growing up. i could actually feel that i am getting "wiser". am i? what do ya think?

some things are now in my own control. like making decisions or marketing for groceries. as a spokeperson abt mum's condition during her medical consultation. disciplining ying.

for instance, last thursday. er-ge and i went around sourcing the oxygen concentrator for mum. as dad returns home on weekends from batam, we made our own decision and decided on the best agent - hope ambulance services. bcoz their prices are the lowest and claiming would deliver within 2hrs. yet, they were late for 4hrs. as this resulted that i cant follow er-ge to hospital to visit mum in the evening bcoz i had to stay home to wait for that machine and babysitting ying still.

the machine arrived. i was irritated with the noise that it generated. was thinking that mum is sure to complain too. yeap, i am right. i called up the agent and complain. nothing can be done with the noise. it cant be covered with cloth as it need air circulation to generate clean air. unless...i opted for the cylinders which has to be refill more often. 400litres finishing in 200min at the recommended breathing rate of 2L/min.

the current machine uses saline packed bags. costing $10 per pack, lasting 2days. however, another agent offers $6 per pack. *crossing my fingers now. hoping both packages has the compatible connections.

making decision is a part and parcel of growing up. i know. i understand. as i am learning to grow up now.

posted by jellyfishy @ 11:59 pm