wat should i do?
mum is back with her anyhow diet plan. she eats watever and whenever she feels like it. she doesnt care abt the quantity nor the quality. anywher lies the food, she will munch it down her throat without blinking an eye.this week, we had fried chicken for two days, monday and wednesday. i allowed her to buy the chickie on mon bcoz father reminded me that "if she want to eat, jus let her be." these words linger sadness to me as everyone are afraid that she hasnt got much days left.
but, i wasnt very happy when mum asked to buy it for wedn dinner. i asked for kfc instead of the foodcourt's which tasted more salty. eventually, kfc costs more. i could feel my heart hurting as mum paid for it. i didnt bring $ lah except atm card.
and, when back home, she gobbled that piece without settling down her granddaughter. mum kept nagging me to eat but i couldnt leave the baby running. i just hav to wait mum finishes her bite.
today, she said that she brewed chinese herbal soup for dinner and told me not to make her daily lingzhi drink for the night. also, said that she would skip her usual medication. i didnt make a fuss at first but i couldnt bear it any further when she came out of her room to finish the wat's remainder in the pot.
i raised my voice a little as compared to usual. inject more patience. asking her wat's the soup is meant for which kind of 'por'.
m: aiya, por is por lo. i dunno for which type la. u go ask the physician la.
l: u dunno for which kind of por, then why u anyhow buy. does this soup por ur high blood and diabetes?
m: i've drank it already wat. if anything wrong, i jus die la. i cant vomit it all out now.
l: i didnt ask u to vomit. jus want u to know wat u are buying next time.
m: u are so kpo. everything must ka-jiao.
l: u want us to listen to u but why cant u listen to us?
after that, i cried. dunno if i am doing the right thing. controlling her diet even father says to allow her. feeling sadder when sugar daddy replied his sms that he's busy tml and cant meet up with me.
he had another cilent from dunno taiwan/china yesterday, so leaving me alone. i couldnt see him this weekend bcoz on sat, i'm accompanying mum to eunos for hairdressing as she wanna look nice for the shoot on the following day and sun is the photo shoot.
so i replied him that "seem like we are really drifting apart.." and "u nv know when i'm crying. bcoz ur mind and soul is not for me anymore. i feel so ashame of myself".
he called and asked why i am crying. i didnt blurt my feelings honestly as i used to be. am i inconsiderate for his feelings? are men all insensitive towards women's feelings?
i read adrian's blog which he compared his recently dumped gf, W with another gal, J. saying the latter is more matured as being understanding for his worklife and busy schedule.
am i immature still? when will i get to be more understanding?
bro mentioned this once, "dont fall too deep. dont hurt his feeling as well as urself." i dunno why he brought this up at that time bcoz it was so sudden. i tot he knew abt my relationship with daddy.
or is it just that i really wanna end the relationship with sugar daddy and that's why i picking on him soo much?
posted by jellyfishy @ 11:11 pm
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home