jeLLy w0RLd

loving me...

another day of boredom. ther's nothing much to blog today, i supposed.

that 'daddy' didnt contact me since last seen yesterday from fuji xeror tower to CP. he didnt make a call or even bother to leave a sms as he used to do no matter how late it was. he changed. he chosen his $ path instead of my companionship. he is not as affection as he used to be, even when he is with me physically.

i understand he is busy, as that what the sensible side of me keeps telling the INsensible side of me. i am still young at heart. of coz, i tend to vent temper esp on this relationship that i wish to end right away.

i did bring up the issue to him that his mind is floating other places although he is jus beside me.

take this. i wasnt happy from the last 2days @gentings. his biz contacts disrupted us. his attention was not on me nor to relax himself. it's all on his $. i could sense it from the frequency he smoke. i jus kept quiet...

on the last day, we went to the theme park. i could sense that he was faking an enjoyable and tenderness mood with me. why must u fake it? i didnt probe him to talk with me bcoz i know that i wouldnt wanna suffer myself to listen to his grumpiness. oh my... i am not a good gf!... although i did enjoy that day by smiling, but it was not to my fullest.

now, it's half 12mn. it's sunday. he hasnt make a call to me for over 24hr. i am sure that i wasnt worried for his safety but it's like ... sth that i dunno how to described.

mayb this way, i feel more like a social partner, sth like an escort. "call me when u need me" kinda feeling. no more of attention from him. i'm jus a lonely one.

i should jus hack care abt this loneliness as his lovingness to me might die down when more things crop up his mind and i could set free from his arms. i must get use to this loneliness sooner or later, since i started my 1st love late @18yr old and was out of love for nearly 2yr b4 meeting this current daddy. as i had made my way this far, this loneliness wont gonna get me down too.

the BA programme is starting soon in july. it's abt 2weeks from now. i will invest more time and attention to read up and do my studies really well. i might even 4get abt the loneliness.

the below reveals the real me...

AQUARIUS WOMAN

If you are in love with an aquarius woman, be prepared to be very happy or be very sorry. She is a very busy person with her own matters similar to an aquarius guy. She is able to live by herself without any guy in her life, a very strong person indeed.

Not because she does not have a dream guy, but if she can not find such person, so what. because she thinks she could do anything that a man can do. She is a leader, a real confident type.

She likes to do things by herself, such as serving herself, opening the door herself. Because she thinks waiting for a helping hand is a waste of time, and she is not patient enough to wait around for that. If she starts to ask you out, do not think she starts to flirt with you, but because she thinks it is a waste of time to wait for you to be the one who asked.

She likes a COOL guy who sometime act like he is ignoring her, so he has a chance to show him his own confident. She like to guess her man's reaction, but at the same time she likes to has many men wanting her. She is a daring type who could just do thing differently from other people in her same society. She dare to fight for what she thinks belonged to her.

Even she acts confident she mostly feel lonely and alone. If she breaks up with someone , she won't show any emotion even deep down inside pain and agony. Not for long she will come back to be the cheery and merry person again, because she looks at the world positively and has "Faith" in the word "Love".

She has more men friends than women friends, so do not be a jealous type if you date her. She could be slightly jealous, but she hates jealous guy. She loves "Freedom" so before and after marriage , her freedom has to be the same. She likes you to trust her, even if she does not trust you anyhow.

She likes to be the one who is "Right", so if you argue with her , let her win if it is not a big deal for you in that subject. She is a straight forward type, so if she does not love you.

posted by jellyfishy @ 11:59 pm