disobedient me...
it happened last nite. i wasnt home to sleep again...i went to JB yesterday with him. i told mum that i will be home but probably be quite late, and reminded her not to lock the door. wat happened actually? i called home at abt 12.30am when i was actually at his house already. i lied to sis-in-law who answered the phone, that i was still stuck in the traffic @JB, wont know exactly how late it will end, so i would be staying at fren's house for the nite.
i was in dilemma. i didnt reject him. i dont know how to say NO. wat a dumb!
i strongly rejected him that i wont be staying over at his place for the nite bcoz i've told mum abt my return. but he whined to me and actually resulted me to lie to my family willingly. i really dunno wat kinda curse he had put on me that i now ended up in this deep shit.
thinking that we hadnt intimate for the past 2weeks, i really wanted to stay with him for the nite subconsciously. i was very happy for making the call home for not returning home, and ended sleeping with him. however, although that call made to report my wherabouts, i still felt uneasy abt the shitty situation i would have to face on the following dawn.
yesh! really deep shitty situation...
mum called for me @9am, when i was sleeping soundly still. i didnt answer her call. so when she made another call an hour later, i could sense her blood boiling asking why i'm still not home yet. i explained that i just got up from bed and will be home asap. she didnt take that and just yelled and hung up the phone hard. i was very sad for making mum angry and got scolded, as well as feeling very angry abt myself for obeying to his words and ended up in this shit.
his day dragged my urge to run home. he received call saying he had to receive some doc over the fax, which he does not have one. as usual, he could not make up his mind fast and dragged the time. he's a person who couldnt think fast nor act fast, and would always lit ciggies to 'cool' himself. or else, he would eventually dependent on me to help him with his work. that's what always pissed me!
as i was an ex-smoker, i could still hold the smoke when i was quitting at the initial stage. now, i cant anymore. at times, i cant even catch my breathe and felt panting. i reminded him umpteen times abt my health, but he doesnt seem to understand nor tried to avoid. i'm dying of fresh air.
i need to be home asap so as to avoid further shit with mum. i even decided not to bathe but he was still bothering abt where to get his faxed doc. so, i still made my way to shower while he could carry on cracking his brain cells.
back, he hasnt done. he's smoking again. his face is masked with worries. i was getting angrier, but he didnt sense my urgency at all. i stared at him. i wanted him to figure any angry waves from me. he apologised but i jus couldnt wait any longer.
he even ask me to type a doc as a replacement for the fax doc. I WANT TO GO HOME AT THIS MINUTE! the stupid me sympathised him and eventually finish the work while he's showering.
my stares gets angrier although i tried not to laugh. on the speeding way home, i didnt smile nor speak with him. this time, i was bothered with the shitty situation later. i pushed the blame on him. he's the one who led me astray, who initiated me to lie, who trigger the fury war between my mum and me.
i should stay away with u now, but for how long will i stay with this promise? BE STRONG! i already survived without love for nearly 2yrs b4 meeting this sugar daddy, so i could repeat this lifestyle and move on searching for the next one who would make everyone nods and happy.
posted by jellyfishy @ 11:59 pm
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home