jeLLy w0RLd

trashed me...

probably i'm given too much free time. being super bo-liao. having too much reflections. being blogging everyday! now, i'm confused of what i really want, wat i really need.

FAMILY: mum is now 1st in my mind. my patience and temper has to be adjusted so as not to provoke her in any situation. i want to show to her that i do care abt her. but i jus dunno how. was afraid ta she wld shun me and rant at me for being silly.
ever since, she knows abt her condition, i am worried ta for her emotions. worried abt how she feel, what she has been thinking, and etc. and, dad is reacting worse. eventually, he asked mum to dig out all her paper assets. kinda to prepare for the unexpected. am i prepared?

LOVE: am i prepared? at times when memories of daddy flash in my eyes, but it reminded me ta everything wld be sour again. both of us nv learn our lesson after soo much of quarrels. he wld still be too devoted in his work and 4get to eat/sleep. nor wld he ever remb to call for a chat on a proper nite with proper timing, and wld point finger back to me ta i ignore his calls. his only line, "bb, i'm busy. call u again."
me? selfish, demanding, defiant, tempermental(siao cha-bor), nv understanding at all. easily to get mad whenever he rejects my invite to go out. but, wld get together easily again with his sweet-talks. one day loving, one day mad. who wld ever ta-han?

i know jas (esp u!) been reminding me to delete him outta the harddisk. dont ever to think of him nor even his face. i've been trying. i wld be trying harder. and i wld be learning to be a better person.
hopefully, this new work schedule wld free those spaces for a better one.

i wld jus wanna take a long walk on the beach. breeze blowing on my face. rethink abt the past, reflecting myself on every step i walked. looking at happy faces of beach-goers with their family/friends/partner. and nv to 4get bringing chilled beer. anyone wanna come along too?

btw, someone owes me his answer of his availability for this week in accompany me to watch Narnia...

posted by jellyfishy @ 11:59 pm