run wild...
nothing much happening happened today. i never step out of house except going to the nearby supermarket with mum and the little goblin.being at home whole day, everyday, all week, is best as for what my mum feels. whenever i'm outside, she thinks that i would spend alot and eat like a pig! it's the money that i spend makes her heart aches most. so staying home and her eyes on my presence is the best that i wont anyhow spend money.
but i did lie to her la, just to calm her.
"i dont eat outside food. i will order a bowl of fish soup if i'm hungry but i do not eat other stuff."
"i didnt spend much money on this. it's on sale lah."
well, most of my expenditures are from him lah, who i cant tell everything to mum rite? so, i will just have to hide behind her back. i dont wanna pek-chek u much mah. dont wanna see ur blood boils loh. sorry lah...
staying at home too much is unhealthy for me! my mind would run wild!!! i would imagine all sorts of stupid stuff even in the day without shutting my eyes, in short, it's called day-dream. i do enjoy some private time at home someday, but not all the time.
mind running wild now...
he keep coming into my mind... who is he? of coz, not the one that i'm going with now, it's someone else! as the presence of this web has revealed to my 2best frens only, who the heck cares if the strangers know? he's jaky, as wat he would like me to address him in my hp contact list, so as not to mix up with another fren of mine who carrys the same name as him.
i imagined that... i'm out with him for lunch. from the last outing, i was dumb for words. honestly speaking, i still have the crush on him. as not to upset the friendship between us, since gaining the experience i had from past with another guy, i am not making any initiative to show him my feelings. i would wait for him to speak up first.
i always refer to his friendster's page with the column of "who i want to meet", his answer is talkative and cheerful. so, if he is really gonna make the first move to me, i myself must be talkative and cheerful. to my opinion, i cant achieve that still. i get tongue-tied whenever i'm nervous and/or looked depressed/stressed if things are not going rite as scheduled. so, what other ways to impress him?
another point, he's now a prudential insurance agent. i would definitely turn off if he's gonna discuss abt any of the insurance plans or wanting me to promote him in front of my frens. i kanna this b4 when we first met after not met for 1 1/2yrs and when he just got this position. i'm panic if i'm to kanna this situation again.
mayb i should ask willie out to lunch with us again, as this is to curb the butterflies in my stomach and the tying knots on my tongue. also, i could get to divert attention to willie and his family especially his wife is expecting with their 3rd child. *winks*
aiya, wait till i secured a job 1st la, which will then having another fresh topic to chat abt when we trio meet up.
Next, the kpo in me...
i keep visiting my ex's and his current gf's friendster page whenever i'm online, which meaning everyday as i've got nothing better to do. i guessed the counter clicks on their pages should reach the highest number everytime as i am their fan reader, or better still, their stalker.
i didnt add him in my frens list for friendster yet, bcoz that idiotic content of sms still lingers on my mind. i smsed him in mar03, informing of a mask exhibition @bugis junction that i coordinated for my AMseniors. the reply was "stupid bitch. suck my dick and fuck off."
i admit that i was wronged at the time i called off the relationship with u, but that's lingers on u still? still not forgiving me even now u are attached with a girl whose 2yr senior of u? funny lei... i could remb that u smsed me msg b4 that sms i sent. so who is fuming at who?
till mel confronted him, who replied saying that he was in the air flying and his hp was on the ground with his mate. this was his mate who sabotaged him. mel demanded an apology from that mate to me, but till now, there's nothing.
this lingers me till this day that i do not wanna add him to my friendster list. does he still remb that his mate owes me an apology? or could it jus be his current gf who sms this unmannered msg?!
today, he's now in brisbane's university of queensland for studies. 2yrs, as what i read from his gf's blog. both are sexually active and thirsty for each other, as wat i expected from the male's. i couldnt satify him when we were together at that time. we were still young and sex is not my cuppa of tea still.
also, thinking abt his un-humbleness family members irks me most! esp his mum, who never could imagine herself living in HDB flat, thinks too highly of herself and dotes too much on her family. i am truly envious the way they show love to each other by kissing openly which i could and would not do to my family.
i imagined that how will they react when we happened to meet up along the streets or in one prata shop. i will definitely boost my hard-and-well-trained boosting skills on my lifestyle and perspective of the world... Haha... sounds very shallow...
hmm, his gf hasnt been posting regularly on blogger. her last post was on monday. hey, bitch! pls post regularly to keep me entertain abt u and ur ever sex thirst bf lei...
posted by jellyfishy @ 11:50 pm
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